Monday Mastery: A reluctant proficiency with uncertainty
Writing for your life.
Welcome to Monday Mastery, a series designed to shift your perspective, teach you new techniques, and help you become a more effective writer, one tip at a time.
“You have a reluctant proficiency with uncertainty.”
A speaking coach said this to me a few years ago, and it struck me hard. First, because I’d never considered that I handle uncertainty any differently than anyone else. But second …
It made me wonder why.
Why could I navigate uncertainty so “proficiently”?
Is it because in my professional career I have specialized in one of the most uncertain industries?
Is it because I live with the daily uncertainty of my youngest child’s health?
Is it because as I have expanded my communication portfolio from copywriting to authoring books to speaking to lecturing, each expansion demanded a leap of faith — and that has made me more comfortable taking risks?
I don’t think it’s any of that.
I think what has made me reluctantly proficient with uncertainty is writing.
Today’s Monday Mastery post is less a tip and more a call to action.
In his book Say What You Mean, Oren Jay Sofer says:
Regardless of our skill in communicating, much of life is beyond our control. Sometimes our needs are met; sometimes they aren’t. Inner freedom doesn’t come from being able to control outcomes; it comes from knowing our values, developing the inner resources to meet life with balance, and letting go.
Writing is how we do this.
We write to uncover our deepest values.
We write to figure out what we think, why it matters, how to apply our thinking, and who we should share it with.
We write to pour out our negative thoughts and worries and stressors on the page — instead of directing them at other human beings.
We write to feel better.
We write to solve problems.
We write to let things go.
I believe, in my heart of hearts, I am proficient with uncertainty because I write through it.
When business isn’t going well, I write.
When my daughter is in the hospital — again — I write.
When I’m not sure about a decision, I write.
My call-to-action for you today is simply this: Write through it all.
I don’t care if you journal, send an email, write an article, post on social, or pen a book — the format doesn’t matter. Only the form does.
I’m tempted to tell you that writing is magic, because it feels that way.
But it’s cognitive.
In communication studies, the Uncertainty Reduction Theory says that uncertainty is inherently uncomfortable, so people use communication to reduce it.
But in my experience, writing through uncertainty also makes you more comfortable with uncertainty.
And that’s a good thing. Because uncertainty is a part of life. As Sofer said in his book, it’s a part of life. Getting comfortable with it may be even more important than reducing it.
Write through the uncertainty.
Write for your life.
Bibliography
Dainton, M., & Zelley, E. D. (2022). Applying Communication Theory for Professional Life (5th ed.). SAGE Publications, Inc. (US).
Sofer, O. J. (2018). Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication. Shambhala.