Monday Mastery: Building connection through shared values
Sparking identification and homophily in your writing for deeper reader trust.
Welcome to Monday Mastery, a series designed to shift your perspective, teach you new techniques, and help you become a more effective writer, one tip at a time.
The term “homophily” refers to our tendency to seek out those who are similar to us.
This concept came up strongly in my trust research under the element of connection.
Quick refresher: In communication, three elements must be present for trust to occur — integrity, competence and connection.
One of the factors of connection in communication is identification — which is when people believe that their goals and values align with someone else’s.
But here’s the kicker: People can’t identify with you unless you state your values and act on them.
If you state your values and act otherwise, you’re violating the element of integrity. Trust is broken.
If you don’t state your values at all, you’re violating certain factors of of competence. Trust can’t fully form.
Stating your values and acting them out enables your audience to identify with you, and triggers homophily.
When you do this in writing, it creates a lovely feedback loop. The audience sees themselves in your words, feels you are similar to them, and they trust you more, so they are more willing to read your words.
If there were ever a strong case for being authentically human in your writing, and using stories from your own life, it’s this.
Don’t just tell people they should care about something — show them why you care about it.
Here’s an example. Earlier this year, I was actively pitching speaking engagements. I wanted to convey that I’m an experienced speaker who deeply cares about what I do. This is the post I put up on LinkedIn:
“Why does speaking matter so much?”
I asked myself that question a million times.
Others asked me that question, too.
I was SO DRIVEN to become a great speaker …
but I didn’t know why.
It was just something deep in my spirit I had to do.
Then my daughter had a cardiac arrest. I did CPR until the paramedics arrived. She was airlifted to Children’s Hospital, had a medical device implanted on her heart, and spent 10 days in the ICU.
And when Children’s Hospital PR called to ask if they could pitch our story to news outlets to bring attention to their mission …
There was my answer.
I told them yes, absolutely, pitch our story. I’m happy to be interviewed so we can get the word out about genetic disease research and CPR training.
And then I told them, “I’d also be happy to come speak at your events.”
I didn’t just state that I value speaking at events — I showed why.
And I did it in about 150 words.
The next time you have an important message to get across, ask yourself:
Am I revealing my values here?
Am I showing how I act on those values?
When you can answer yes to both of those questions, you know you’re writing something that will create connection with the audience — and building deeper trust.