Monday Mastery: The gift of you
How a generous spirit builds relationships.
Welcome to Monday Mastery, a series designed to shift your perspective, teach you new techniques, and help you become a more effective writer, one tip at a time.
When I recently read The Serviceberry: Abundance and Reciprocity in the Natural World by Robin Wall Kimmerer, I was struck by this passage:
“Maybe people who come for Serviceberries will come back for Sunflowers and then for the Blueberries. Sure, it's a gift, but it's also good marketing. The gift builds relationships, and that's always a good thing. That's what we really produce here — relationship, with each other and with the farm."
On the surface, it had a clear business connotation for me. It’s a beautiful illustration of what I believe marketing should be, when it’s done effectively — a relationship-building activity.
However, when I sat with the passage a while, I realized there was deeper meaning there.
Giving builds relationship.
Being generous builds relationship.
The marketers and behavioral psychologists of the world have convinced us that the principle of reciprocity should be used to manipulate others into doing what we want them to do —
but giving a gift is a beautiful human act of relationship-building.
Reciprocity is a natural byproduct of relationship, and relationship is a natural byproduct of reciprocity.
We give. We receive. We give again.
Introducing yourself with a gift of value, much like showing up to a party with a good bottle of wine, imprints you on someone’s memory. You’re more likely to get invited to the next party. Not because of the wine, but because of the relationship you built with it.
So give of your abundance — and maybe it’s not an excess of berries, but rather an abundance of experience or insight or knowledge about your subject. And do it with a generous spirit.
Give in your writing. Let us learn from you.
Give in your speaking. Let us hear about your experiences.
Give in your communication. Let us feel connected to you.
The relationships you build with your generosity will be worth the effort.